We are not called to co-dependence

Why are people who sacrifice everything thought to be following Jesus?  Do they really have no desires of their own?  Or am I missing the point?  What is the difference between co-dependence and service?  We are asked to love our neighbour as ourself - not better than.  Is working all hours (even in the service of God) loving ourselves?

Jesus went away to pray - time to himself - albeit with God.  He did not always do what everyone asked him to!  He had a sense of his own needs as well as those of others.  However, he was not selfish, and he worked for the good of others.

How do we learn to walk the tightrope between bending over backwards to help others and concentrating so much on our own needs that others get lost from view?